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Live Free, Die Bald

by Boogdish

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1.
When you get lonely who will you call? Will you call the one you confessed your love to? They might make you feel good for awhile, but they're never going to love you like I do. Avocado doesn't love you. When you get cancer who will count the pills? When you lose your job, who will pay the bills? Will they wake you up when the house is on fire? Will they drive you to work when you lose your car? And I'm just like them cause I'm getting softer every day. And I'm just like them cause eventually I will rot away.
2.
Great Hair 01:31
I don't like how I treat myself. I don't like how I live my life. I like my hair. I don't have good friends anymore, I don't have people to live for. I've got great hair. Objectively, it's pretty good hair. I like how it grows in thick and quick with real nice roots, yeah. I don't like who I am these days, I don't like the choices I've made, I like my hair. I don't have hope for my self. I don't have strength to change myself. I've got great hair.
3.
Grow A Beard 02:06
Shaving cream locked away until I can change. One day I won't live this way, until then the beard stays. Grow a beard to shave it off. Burned out bulb in the hall, one day I won't live like this at all. On that day when I change, this light bulb I'll also change. Waiting for your life to change so that I can shave.
4.
I want you, I want you, I want your whooping cough. I didn't see you on the street cause you were in bed for a week. I wanna kiss you on the mouth and cough until some blood comes out. You're so cool I can't believe that you really want to talk to me. I wanna see you every day, and don't you let that cough go away. I wanna have things wrong with me that are the same things wrong with you. I wanna have the disease that makes you seem so cool.
5.
I'm not gonna say hi to you. It's not that I don't remember you. It's not that you did something that offended me. I just assumed you wouldn't remember me and you might have nothing to say to me. It's less awkward this way, don't you see? If I were to explain to you how I even know you, you might really not be interested in talking to me. Say hi, next time you see me. I'm shy, wouldn't you believe.
6.
Acne 01:11
7.
Absorber 01:30
The person you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore, there is only me. I ate them and absorbed them into my body, but not all their memories. I'm telling you this cause you deserve to know, also I can't find the remote. I don't know where your loved one would've left it. On top of the tv?!? I never would've left it there, that part was not absorbed in me. I'm ready to watch the tv now. Why is there no sound? You deserve to be with the one you loved. We don't get what we deserve. I deserve to know how this TV works. We don't get what we deserve. They deserved to keep on existing. We don't get what we deserve. You deserve more than memories. We don't get what we deserve.
8.
OCDear To Me 01:08
9.
10.
In the mall Curly Neal pulled your pants down, Curly didn't pull your future from you. You were humiliated by one of your heroes, but what good is blaming him gonna do? The Harlem Globetrotters didn't ruin your life, you ruined your life. You felt like a loser before Curly pantsed you, Curly could sense that, we all could back then. It was wrong of us that we laughed at you, but you won't get stronger holding to the pain. You put your faith in the Harlem Globetrotters and they betrayed your faith. Guess what, that happens to every person, every single day. Curly decided to pants you, you decided to feel sorry for yourself. Things won't get better for you till you stop blaming every body else.
11.
In a few years you're gonna have a family. You're life will have meaning. You'll have muscle tone on your body. You'll have a secure identity. You'll look back at everything that you were doing wrong and you're gonna hate these songs. You won't have the friends you have now You'll have balance in your life somehow. You won't be going out as much. You'll care about different stuff. These songs will remind you of all of your old weaknesses. You'll associate things with them that you won't want to revisit. So now you love these songs and want to sing them all day long, you're gonna hate these songs.
12.
13.
Bad Advice 02:13
Some of your friends are giving you bad advice. A lot of folks are giving you bad advice. But you're too numb to tell. And only time can tell. They have no idea what it's like for you. They'll say what they think you should do. They're trying to be nice, and it seems pretty nice. All of your friends are giving you bad advice. All of your friends are giving you bad advice. Don't listen to what they say, nod and say "ok." People feel better when they give advice. They're talking to themselves when they give you advice. Just be glad you've got friends, and eventually this will end.
14.
Karen 02:09
I dont' have to care about anything. Society will encourage me to be an asshole. I don't have to care about anything, but I do. It's because I've got friends like you. I care about how you care about how I care about things more than I care about the things that you care that I care about. And I don't care if you don't care about me caring about you caring. Cause I care about how you care about how I care about things. They tell me I shouldn't give a shit. And I should stop worrying about all of this. I'm glad you see me through it, I'm glad you hold me to it. I'm glad I've got friends like you. The world doesn't care that I care about the world, but you do. And I know I will disappoint tthe world, but I hope I don't disappoint you.
15.
The first time I threw up this year was in May. My life is getting better. Don't just eat guacamole on Friday. The cat's are only going in the litter box. I drink wine from a glass instead of a box. I don't feel like I need to exercise. I'm not telling myself as many lies. Don't play blues licks when I pick up my guitar. I sing ABBA at the top of my lungs when I'm in the car.
16.
Dax 01:57
I wanna smell butts, not listen to bullshit. I was born last year, not yesterday. And I'm not dumb for making this distinction, now I've listened to all you have to say. Listen man, don't tell me men don't exist; cause you're only doing this so you can pet me. A lot of words about you throwing away your privilege doesn't buy you any trust from me. I wanna chew toy, not swallow your horse shit. I learned this lessons so I could survive, and you want me to unlearn them? Tell me, how does that keep me alive? Tell me again how gender's a societal construct, then tell me who controls society. I don't care if you think that you're one of the good ones, cause you look like the enemy to me. I'm going to bite you.
17.
Your tears, yeah man. Those are pretty good. But lemme tell ya about my tears man, lemme tell ya about my tears. My tears have more salt than yours. I cry more of them than you. It's great how you're open emotionally. But lemme tell ya about my feelings, let me tell you how I feel. I feel more deep than you do. I'm more in touch than you. My tears have more salt than yours. I cry more of them than you.
18.
I could've looked at dinosaur bones today. I could've packed the minivan and moved away. You worry about me when I go to another country. You worry about me when I'm not saving money. You should be worried about me today. I could've gone to Schlitterbahn today. I could've eaten one million vegan milkshakes. You worry about me when the band is touring. You worry about me when I'm not working.

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released May 14, 2012

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Boogdish Bloomington, Indiana

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